Living From the Heart

When sleeping women wake, mountains move—CHINESE PROVERB

As I prepare for this workshop I find that I am immersed in the material, understandably, of living from the heart, not only in book material but in my actual life.  I find myself consistently checking and asking myself the question, “What does it mean to live from the heart….  am I living from my heart or following someone else’s agenda”

I can tell you that for me living from the heart means actually taking the time to listen to my inner wise woman (or wild woman) depending on the day.  As well as asking internally “Is this what I really want or is there something more that I really I need?”

Often what I find when working with clients is the sabbatour or negative aspect of themselves comes in to tell them they are selfish for taking the time and space they need.

Now we’ve all had negative thoughts that like to come in and sabotage our divine inner guidance by saying things like, “You can’t do that, your too old, too fat, too much…” and on and on and often we choose to listen to those voices due to our own self value.   We hear the, “I tried, I am just not good enough.”  As women (and men do this as well) we make vows to ourselves, “I’m going to play more, rest more, eat healthier” and generally life gets in the way and we find ourselves derailed from our “truth”

I am here to tell you that there is nothing more powerful than truly knowing thy self, knowing your own inner truth!  This includes all the shadowy dark places too, lots of power lives there! Before you pick up another self help book or another diet plan I encourage you to get in touch with what is true for you! Beware though, this sometimes doesn’t feel good.  Sometimes your inner voice can come in and kick your butt into shape if you really listen (its not always touchy feely).

Living from your heart feels much different than living from your ego.  When you live from your heart you feel a deep sense of knowing, of peace, a sort of pull in that direction.  You feel at ease, and in control of yourself.  You lead from this place while learning to care for and love yourself. This is what coaxes your body into balance.  

You see when we forget what matters most to us then we give more homage to the negative, critical voices in our heads.  All of those “I cant’s!” or “I tried!” Things like “Well, I tried to be an artist I guess I’ll have to settle for a job I don’t like.”    The truth? Or is the real truth, “My previous attempts at making a living as an artist didn’t work, but I can still find a way to channel that part of me and call myself and artist”?

Living from the heart means really knowing who we are, knowing  what makes us happy.  It’s knowing our strengths and weaknesses and knowing what makes us tick.  It is important for us to realize that while we are not perfect, we can cherish and foster our own uniqueness. 

My Challenge for you would be for live truthfully, authentically, and honestly, drawing strength and consolation from your work, your family, love and health.  Cultivate and nurture those things, not from your head, where logic always rules, but from your heart where you can feel what is right and real just for you!


Acquisition of Attraction?


Acquisition Or Attraction, Which One Are You Employing?

How are you? How’s it been going with some of the resolutions or goals you set for yourself in January? If you chose not to set any, how are you doing with that? Are you still going strong or has your will power waned? Maybe you’ve decided on something completely new and exciting… sometimes that’s how it goes, we set out in one direction and end up going a completely different way, but really the idea is just to get moving.

I read a quote the other day by Peter Drucker it goes like this:  “Do you know the best way to predict the future? Create it!”

In our present society we have a mode of thinking that tells us if we want something we just need to get out there and take it.  It’s the mindset of acquisition.  As a culture we reward and admire those individuals who have gone after what they want with enthusiasm and passion and well if they happen to trample on a few people on the way up, well that’s unfortunate but those are the casualties of the moment.

Although this appears to be very dog- eat- dog in mentality (and it is) this mentality has lead to brilliant advances in our modern culture.   As Michael Neill puts it, “This school of acquisition has been in full session for the past 2,500 years but there is another school of thought that has been hidden away in caves and secret societies and this is the teaching of the “Law of Attraction” many of you have probably seen the movie the “Secret” or read some books pertaining to this “Law of Attraction” But for those of you who haven’t, the idea is that:

Like becomes like
Thoughts become things
And you become what you think about

Supposedly the ruling elite suppressed the secret teachings because the leaders were afraid the individuals would realize how much power they actually had.

But now that we have this information and it’s readily available what is stopping individuals from living the life of their dreams?  Why isn’t everyone driving around in the their dream cars, why are people still starving and why do we have such drama in politics?

Well, the problem is that people are using “the secret” or the law of attraction as a new means of acquisition.  So instead of actually shifting their approach to life to planting seeds of kindness, experiencing more joy, expressing more love and kindness, they are looking for a better parking space or a better bank balance by of course thinking the right thoughts.  And many times individuals assume that if they only had “x” then they would feel happier or experience more joy.

But the real trick with the law of attraction and with the energy of happiness is what actually attracts the good things into our lives.  What attracts the energy of joy and excitement, the energy of being in awe every day and which creates power and that power is inevitably creative.

So instead of asking, “What do you want?” — it might be better to ask, “What would I love to create?”

When we step into our lives as creators, we are no longer limited by what we see around us.  We can create what would most fill our hearts with more joy.   You are absolutely and infinitely creative and when you create from all the beauty that already exists inside you, things like success or abundance or loving relationships become the natural outcome of your creation.

Over the next few weeks I invite you to pay attention to how you feel about the events in your life:

Are you absolutely in love with what you are doing?
Can you tap into joy when you’re not feeling it?
It’s through that JOY that you create your masterpiece.

When we don’t get what we want it may be just that its taking longer than we would like or that we haven’t found the way yet, no blame, or shame, no fault.

Filed Under attraction, Life Coaching, mindfulness, Personal Growth |  

Healing our Hearts

To find yourself
is to lose yourself.


To know our true Self, we must cease to identify with the illusory identity, which feels separated from the whole under the survival instincts fed by the ego. For the real to come, the false must leave.

Love is complicated.  Just like the Zen koan above, it seems so easy but then when you really get into it you find out how actually challenging and raw it can be.

Humans have this innate desire to be in relationships and form deep connections with their loved ones.  And yet often our own wounding gets in the way of our ability to be open to receive and give that love and connection.   One minute you might feel fully connected and open and the next you are fully embroiled in misunderstandings, miscommunication or conflict.

In these moments of misunderstanding your heart center shuts down and you are no longer able to connect with your partner in a loving or open-hearted way.  This shutting down of the heart center not only blocks you from giving and receiving love but it also blocks you from a connection to yourself, your creativity and your ability to move forward in a grounded way.

There are many ways that wounds occur throughout an individual’s lifetime and the ones that I most often see in my counseling and life coaching work with individuals are those which come from our childhood experiences.

As children, if we don’t receive the connection and validation that we  desire and need a wound occurs and we begin to shut off aspects of ourselves to avoid pain. This disconnection or lack of validation can and is often passed down from generation to generation.

Often psychologists refer to family as the “holding” environment much like when a baby is still in the safe environment of the womb.  As the baby enters into the physical world, the home environment or family becomes another “holding space” or safe place in which the baby and child may grow, learn and explore within safe boundaries.

But as stated above, we don’t always get the feedback, encouragement or safety and support that we need, so we retreat — we hold back on our exploration.  We shut down our heart center, and we shut down getting to know ourselves on a deeper level as it is just too painful.

As we become conscious of our responses, retraction or opening, up we begin to see where our pain is.  Once we begin to see where our pain is we can start to offer ourselves more compassion, safety and love, thus giving ourselves the support that we may not have received in the past. When we give ourselves this much needed support, we begin to be more open with our partners and loved ones as well as the rest of our community.

Below is an exercise from John Welwood’s book Perfect Love: Imperfect Relationships. This exercise is designed to help you experience the energy of you own longing for love as a way to open up your capacity to receive love.

  1. Notice some way in which you feel cut off from love right now.
  2. How does this separation from love affect you in your body?
  3. In this feeling of separation, notice if there is any longing which, can be more connected with love.
  4. Now turn toward this inner longing and let yourself feel it directly.
  5. Open to the energy of the longing as an experience in your body.  Drop all focus on the outer object or on ideas about fulfilling the longing. Stay with the energy of your deep wish for love.  Let that longing touch you.
  6. What happens when you open to longing? What’s your experience?

Filed Under anxietyLife CoachingmindfulnessPersonal Growthwounding |